


Underwater

by IcyTouch



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 14:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyTouch/pseuds/IcyTouch
Summary: Underwater, Haru feels invincible when in reality he's most vulnerable.





	Underwater

_No one can hurt me underwater_

Haru closes his eyes and lets himself sink to the ground of the pool, feeling his body grow weightless while the water engulfs his every edge and curve, soft like silk and at the same time harder than iron, shielding him from the tiring outside world that does nothing but make him feel cold and helpless.

_No one can hear me underwater_

He opens his mouth and a few small bubbles rise up towards the cloudy nightsky as he screams, loud enough to make his throat hurt, but nobody will ever know that he's so desperate to leave all this agony behind that he screams, screams, _screams_ until it feels like his head will burst if he doesn't fill his lungs with air soon.

_No one can see me underwater_

He kicks his legs, breaks the rippling surface and breathes, jaw slack and hair soaking wet as he tries to stop his heart from beating against his chest so heavily. If it doesn't calm down, he fears it might break bones, flesh and skin and escape his body, so he takes another deep breath and lets himself fall back into the dark water that draws shut around him like a curtain and hides him from worried green eyes that dart over the pool just seconds later.

_No one can faze me underwater_

All exhaustion and emptiness simply disappears when he's in the water. Not even his tears feel real when he cries here, they are just tiny droplets in an ocean and Haru can't be bothered about them. If he just stays in the pool long enough, the water will feel warm as it wraps around him lovingly and he knows the feeling but nobody can't ever find out. Yes, Haru recognizes this gentle touch, but from another time, another place, another world, a world that has been shattered to pieces by the words _I'm leaving tomorrow_ but right now he doesn't care because not even those memories can upset him here.

_No one can hurt me underwater_

He only climbs out of the pool when he's absolutely sure that Makoto has left and while he's drying himself off, he looks back at the water that is moving constantly in the pale light of the moon.

_No one can hurt me underwater_

If he could, he'd stay here forever, but everyone would tell him that he needs to move on, to forget about everything that has happened, to just accept fate, yet he knows what they really mean is _"Just let go of him already"_ and that's like asking him to stop breathing - which is beginning to seem not so difficult at all.

_No one can hurt me underwater_

Haru crouches down by the pool and lets his fingertips touch the sparkling surface, just enough so they don't really break it.

_No one can hurt me underwater_

And before he knows what he's doing, he's shifting his weight forward and then he's falling, deeper and deeper and all of his fight is gone.

_No one can hurt me underwater_

The cold water invades his nose, pries open his mouth, reaches down his throat and into his lungs slowly, but determined and he opens his eyes to look up at the moon that's shining down on him.

_No one can hurt me underwater_

The moon is the last thing he sees and briefly, he wonders if it's the same moon Rin is looking at from Australia, then he's gone. A bright cloud rises from his opened mouth and fades into the water around him like a dying melody, bittersweet and beautiful and... gone.

_Just the water itself_

**Author's Note:**

> This is really short and shitty and just something that came to my mind while listening to _Underwater._ Plus (and in my defense), it's 00:08 here right now and I'm tired af, wanted something depressing and oh dear Lord here we go.


End file.
